Questions to Ask Your
Divorce Attorney

Before You File — 8 Questions About Process & Strategy

These questions help you understand how the divorce process works, what to expect, and what strategic decisions you need to make early. Ask these before you discuss specific issues like custody or property.

1. What is the realistic timeline for my divorce? California has a mandatory six-month waiting period under FC §2339, but contested divorces take much longer. Ask about your specific circumstances.
2. Should I file first, or does it matter? There can be strategic advantages to filing first. Our guide on first-to-file benefits covers this in detail.
3. What is the difference between contested and uncontested divorce? Understanding which path you are likely on determines the timeline, cost, and emotional toll.
4. Is mediation or collaborative divorce an option for us? Not every divorce requires full litigation. Ask whether your case is suited for a less adversarial approach.
5. What should I do to prepare before filing? There are steps you should take — and steps you should not take — before divorce papers are filed. Protecting financial documents, understanding your assets, and maintaining stability for the children are all critical.
6. What are the biggest mistakes people make at this stage? An experienced attorney has seen the common errors. Our guide on 7 mistakes in custody cases covers several, but ask your attorney what they see most often.
7. Do I need a temporary restraining order or emergency orders? If there are concerns about domestic violence, asset dissipation, or the other spouse leaving the state with children, you may need immediate court protection.
8. What happens if my spouse has already filed? If you have been served with papers, you have 30 days to respond. Ask about your deadlines and what happens if you miss them. Our guide on responding to divorce papers explains the process.

Custody & Children — 8 Questions

If you have children, custody will likely be the most important — and most emotional — part of your divorce. These questions help you understand what to expect and how to protect your relationship with your children.

1. What custody arrangement is most likely in my situation? Ask about the difference between legal custody (decision-making authority) and physical custody (where the child lives), and what arrangement the court is likely to order based on your facts.
2. What does “best interest of the child” actually mean? Under FC §3011, courts evaluate specific factors: the child’s health, safety, and welfare; history of abuse; the nature of contact with each parent; and substance abuse. Ask how these factors apply to your case.
3. Will we need to go through CCRC or mediation? In Riverside County, contested custody cases are referred to CCRC (Child Custody Recommending Counseling) under FC §3170. Ask what this involves and how to prepare.
4. What if the other parent wants to move out of the area? Relocation disputes are governed by specific legal factors. Ask about your rights if the other parent wants to take the child out of state.
5. How does the court handle a parent who is not following the custody order? Ask about enforcement mechanisms, contempt, and modification of orders when the other parent is not cooperating.
6. What role does the child’s preference play? California allows the court to consider the child’s wishes under FC §3042, particularly if the child is of sufficient age and capacity. Ask at what age and under what circumstances this applies.
7. Can the custody arrangement be changed later? Custody orders can be modified under FC §3087 if there is a significant change of circumstances. Ask what qualifies. Our guide on modifying custody and support orders covers this in depth.
8. What if there are domestic violence concerns? Under FC §3044, a rebuttable presumption against custody applies to a parent who has committed domestic violence. Ask how this affects your case and what evidence is needed.

Financial Questions — 8 Questions About Property & Debts

California is a community property state, meaning most assets and debts acquired during the marriage are divided equally. These questions help you understand what you are entitled to and what you might owe.

1. What is considered community property vs. separate property? Under FC §760, property acquired during the marriage is presumed community property. Property owned before marriage or received as a gift or inheritance may be separate. Ask how this applies to your specific assets.
2. How will our house be handled? Ask whether one spouse can buy out the other, whether the house must be sold, and how the equity is divided. This is often the largest asset in a divorce.
3. How are retirement accounts and pensions divided? Retirement accounts earned during the marriage are community property. Division typically requires a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). Ask about the process and timeline.
4. What happens to debts accumulated during the marriage? Community debts are divided equally under FC §2550, even if only one spouse incurred them. Ask about credit card debt, mortgages, student loans, and car loans.
5. How do we handle a family business? Businesses started or grown during the marriage may be community property. Ask about valuation methods, whether the business can continue operating, and whether a forensic accountant is needed.
6. What if my spouse is hiding assets? Ask about discovery tools, forensic accounting, and what happens if the court finds that one spouse concealed assets. Our guide on fraudulent concealment in divorce covers this topic.
7. How are stock options, RSUs, and deferred compensation handled? These are increasingly common and require specialized analysis. Ask whether the attorney has experience with these types of assets.
8. Do I need to worry about my spouse’s debts after the divorce? Even after a divorce decree assigns debts to one spouse, creditors can still pursue both spouses for joint debts. Ask how to protect yourself.

Spousal Support Questions — 6 Questions

Spousal support (alimony) is one of the most misunderstood areas of California divorce law. Whether you expect to receive or pay support, these questions clarify what to expect.

1. Am I likely to receive (or pay) spousal support? Ask the attorney to assess your situation based on the FC §4320 factors: income disparity, length of marriage, standard of living, age, health, and contributions as a homemaker.
2. How is temporary spousal support calculated? Temporary support during the divorce process typically uses a county guideline formula. Ask what the likely amount would be in your case.
3. How long will spousal support last? For marriages under 10 years, support typically lasts about half the length of the marriage. For marriages of 10 years or longer (“long-term marriages”), the court retains jurisdiction indefinitely. Ask how this applies to you. Our spousal support FAQ covers this in detail.
4. Can spousal support be modified later? Support can be modified if there is a material change of circumstances. Ask what changes might trigger a modification — job loss, retirement, cohabitation.
5. What happens if my ex-spouse starts living with a new partner? Under FC §4323, there is a rebuttable presumption that support should be reduced if the supported spouse is cohabiting with a new partner. Ask how this works. Our guide on cohabitation and alimony covers this topic.
6. What is a Gavron warning? Ask whether you will receive a Gavron warning — a court admonition that the supported spouse is expected to become self-supporting within a reasonable period. Understanding this warning is critical for both sides.

Attorney & Process Questions — 6 Questions

These questions help you evaluate whether this specific attorney is the right fit for your case. Not every attorney is right for every client, and the consultation is your opportunity to assess the relationship.

1. What is your fee structure? Ask about the hourly rate, retainer amount, billing increments (6-minute vs. 15-minute), and what the retainer covers. Ask for an estimated total cost range based on the complexity of your case.
2. Who will actually handle my case? In some firms, the attorney you meet at the consultation is not the one who handles your case day-to-day. Ask whether a junior attorney, paralegal, or associate will be doing the work — and at what rate they bill.
3. How will you communicate with me? Ask about response times, preferred communication methods (email, phone, portal), and how often you will receive updates. Lack of communication is the most common complaint about attorneys.
4. How many divorce cases like mine have you handled? Experience matters. Ask about their experience with cases involving your specific issues — custody disputes, complex property, business valuation, domestic violence, military divorce.
5. What is your approach to settlement vs. litigation? Some attorneys default to aggressive litigation; others prioritize negotiation. Ask about their philosophy and how they determine when settlement is not possible.
6. Can I get a fee waiver if I cannot afford filing fees? Under California Rules of Court, Rule 3.55, you may qualify for a fee waiver if your income is below certain thresholds. Ask about this option if cost is a concern.

Red Flags to Watch For

Not every attorney is a good fit. During your consultation, watch for these warning signs that suggest you should keep looking.

Guaranteeing Outcomes

No attorney can guarantee the outcome of a divorce case. If an attorney tells you “you will definitely get full custody” or “I guarantee you will keep the house,” that is a red flag. Divorce outcomes depend on the facts, the judge, and the other side’s actions. A good attorney gives you an honest assessment of the likely range of outcomes — not guarantees.

Encouraging Unnecessary Conflict

Some attorneys profit from conflict. If the attorney seems eager to escalate, suggests aggressive tactics without explaining the strategic purpose, or dismisses the possibility of settlement, be cautious. Litigation is sometimes necessary, but an attorney who defaults to it for every issue will cost you more money and more emotional energy than necessary.

Poor Communication During the Consultation

If the attorney is distracted, checks their phone repeatedly, interrupts you, or seems rushed during the consultation, their communication is unlikely to improve after they have your retainer. The consultation is the best version of the relationship — if it is already poor, do not expect it to get better.

Pressure to Sign Immediately

A good attorney understands that choosing a divorce lawyer is a significant decision. If the attorney pressures you to sign a retainer agreement on the spot, creates artificial urgency, or makes you feel like you will lose your case if you do not hire them today, walk away. You should feel comfortable taking a day or two to make your decision.

Vague or Evasive About Fees

If the attorney cannot clearly explain their fee structure, avoids giving you a cost estimate, or is vague about what the retainer covers, you are likely to be surprised by bills later. Transparent billing is a basic expectation. An attorney who cannot explain their own fees clearly should not be trusted to explain complex legal strategy clearly.